Tonight I am overwhelmed with so much emotion...I feel like my heart could just burst open. Tonight was Isa's first band concert, she plays the trombone, and I didn't think I could love anything or be as proud of anyone/thing as I was of her tonight. She is so beautiful and so talented and just such a great kid which is a testament to her parents and their love for her and how they are raising her. I looked at her through a camera lens and saw a collage of her short but sweet life and how much she has changed mine. She has the best parts of both of her parents! :-) I am truly so blessed to be her aunt.
Tonight, my heart felt a contentment and a peace that I have not felt in so long I didn't think the feeling would ever come back. My family, and our wonderful "better halves" all gathered together, happy and watching this child who has us all wrapped around her finger. I looked at my father and said "Thank you" to the Lord for him...for his renewed presence in our lives. For how Isabel has Shawnda's smile which is just like his. How magnificent to see these traits in each one of them. I looked at our new friend Sandy and am profoundly grateful for her sharing her time with us to come to a band concert and eat ice cream with us. I looked at my sister and see what a beautiful, strong woman she has become. I see wisdom and a spirit in her that inspires laughing and joy. I look at my brother in law and see in his eyes the love of a father. His face shines so bright when he is near her. It has been such a treat to see him teach her to throw a football. I am constantly amazed and humbled by how much he gives and gives and gives. I look at my best friend, Nate and I am brought to my knees with gratefullness for him and his love for me. His heart and his capacity for thoughtfullness is inspiring to me. I finally found someone who values family as much as I do...it's awesome!
I also had the opportunity to babysit my friend Melanie's child, Adison, tonight and I brought him with me to the band concert. For so long, I felt that I did not have anyone in my life to rely on for help so I just became accustomed to doing everything by myself or for myself, and tonight, I saw my sister, my dad, Sandy, Nate and Javier help me with this child because my arm hurt. I didn't even have to ask...I really can't express in words how this very simple act brought such a warmth to my heart. Here is where God has to help me...to accept the help and not feel guilty. I think sometimes...if I can't do it all myself, then I am less or not enough.
This amazing child brings us all together and allows me to be a part of something so wonderful.
I guess I've put enought mushiness out there. I am grateful and amazed.